


As He Falls From the Sky

by tbmd1066



Series: Carpet Burns and Carousels [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, F/M, I don't even know if I should tag this as Merthur but that's where the series goes so w/e, I just wrote this entire thing in like an hour thank you ADHD for your weird benevolence, Mild Sexual Content, Motherhood, Pre-Canon, Pregnancy, like...really pre-merthur, pre-merthur, single mom, we stan Hunith in this household
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbmd1066/pseuds/tbmd1066
Summary: Hunith curled up tightly, burying her head in her arms. "Fuck. Fuck!" She let the tears flow now. She should have gone north with Balinor, should have demanded he let her stay with him. Abandoned the farm and let Thomas take the fields. Surely the refugees from Camelot could find another safe house along the border. She shouldn't have to do this alone!
Relationships: Balinor/Hunith (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Carpet Burns and Carousels [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769542
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	As He Falls From the Sky

**Author's Note:**

> And they're back with...a prologue!! The thing that wasn't even on their list of planned fics!!! What a curveball!!!!!!
> 
> Sexual content is bolded if you wish to skip it.

Hunith watched until she could see no more. The edge of the forest blurred into inky black as the moon rose higher and higher in the sky. She didn't want to go back inside the cold, dark house.

She didn't want to be alone.

_ 'I know this feeling, too.' _

Hunith jumped to her feet, whirling around to stare into the night. "Who's there?!" she shouted. Surely it couldn't be Uther, not already, not while their bed was still warm. 

_ 'I don't have a name yet. That will be for you to decide.' _

The voice came from everywhere and nowhere all at once. It sounded like a child, or like the most ancient thing of all. It was the voice of nature itself, yet it sounded in no way natural. 

Hunith swallowed. "Where are you?" 

_ 'Here _ ,' the voice said, unhelpfully. There was silence for a moment, no sound but the wind.  _ 'Perhaps I am too small for you to feel. What strangely limited senses, to not be able to feel something inside your own body.' _

Hunith felt chills go down her spine. She fumbled with the doorknob and let herself inside the small house, where perhaps no one would hear her talking with minuscule, ancient spirits. "You can't be inside my body!"

_ 'It's a novel concept for me, as well, but apparently, it is possible.' _

"That's not what I meant!" Hunith gritted her teeth. "I mean that whatever kind of spirit you are, I  _ will not  _ let you possess me! Get out!"

_ 'I'm not possessing you.' _

Hunith crossed her arms, pacing over the dirt-packed floor. "Then what do you want? I certainly didn't notice your arrival."

_ 'I did knock _ ,' the voice whined.  _ 'Remember?' _

**_ "Can you hear that?" Hunith gently pushed against Balinor's shoulder.  _ **

**_ "What, someone outside?" he twisted across the door, grief-stricken.  _ **

**_ "No, it sounded closer, like a scratching..." she shook her head. "Forget it. It's stopped."  _ **

**_ He leaned back in, smiling, and kissed her. Despite the warmth of fullness, she felt cold inside, already lonely. How much time did they have left?  _ **

**_ He brushed her hair from her face, watching it slide over her bare shoulder with hungry eyes. Her fingers danced around the scars on his waist, gripping tight with each thrust. He kissed her neck, moaning. _ **

**_ Like claws on wood. Hunith turned her head. The sound had no source; there was no shadow under the door of a farm cat wanting to come in. Something was there, though. They weren't alone.  _ **

**_ Balinor pulled her closer, moving at a pace that left her gasping.  _ **

**_ The scratching grew more fervent, rhythmic. Whatever it was, it wanted in.  _ **

**_ "Come in," she whispered. _ **

Hunith shuddered and collapsed against the wall, overwhelmed with the memory this creature had forced her to relive. 

_ 'He thought you were talking to him.' _

"I was." 

The voice laughed.  _ 'Perhaps it was for both of us. It would have had to be for me to be here now.' _

Hunith moved a shaking hand down to her lower abdomen. It couldn't be...

_ 'Oh! You do know where I am!' _

She felt sick. "What are you?"

_ 'I hardly know. I'm changing so much already. I've never done this before, you know. Been born, I mean.' _

Hunith laughed, half hysterically. 

_ 'I'm sorry for the imposition. I saw you sheltering my people, and I hoped-' _

"Your people?" Hunith interrupted.

_ 'Mages,'  _ the child replied.  _ 'I didn't mean to leave them.' _

Hunith paused, looking at the cold ashes in the fireplace, the blanket tossed on the floor, the pair of plates that still needed washing. "You're Magick."

The earth thrummed under her fingertips, sighing in satisfaction. 

_ 'Yes. But as I said, you can choose a different name for me.' _

"Why? I mean, why not pick a name yourself?"

_ 'This consciousness I have is already breaking apart. I'll build a new one as I keep growing and becoming a living thing, but if I picked a name now, I wouldn't remember it.' _

Hunith frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

_ 'All living things are made of body, mind, and soul. For eternity, I have only been mind and soul—a natural force, but not one that lives. As we build a new body, it will prepare to create its own mind, and this one will slip away.' _

"You'll die?"

_ 'I suppose. I don't care.'  _ The child's words sparked an unexpected, deep sorrow.  _ 'I have been dying for some time, one might say.' _

"How's that?" Hunith said, trying not to acknowledge the tears welling behind her eyes.

_ 'Part of my soul was taken,'  _ the child growled, and the embers of the fire flared.  _ 'I came here to look for it.'  _

"Is this real?" Hunith asked shakily. "Are you...am I really pregnant?"

_ 'Yes.' _

Hunith curled up tightly, burying her head in her arms. "Fuck. Fuck!" She let the tears flow now. She should have gone north with Balinor, should have demanded he let her stay with him. Abandoned the farm and let Thomas take the fields. Surely the refugees from Camelot could find another safe house along the border. She shouldn't have to do this alone!

_ 'You aren't alone,'  _ the voice said.  _ 'I'm here, and I'll help you once I'm bigger.' _

"I don't know what to do!" she sobbed. "I can't take care of a baby, especially not a magic baby!"

_ 'People have been having babies for thousands of years. It can't be  _ that  _ difficult.'  _

"What would you know?" she snapped and immediately felt awful. She was yelling at a baby. It was absurd, pathetic. The thing was, she didn't resent this strange spirit, but despite what the child had said, she was alone. Unmarried, no parents, barely scraping by managing a small crop and weaving a neighbour's wool into cloth for him. She wouldn't be able to keep up with her field while pregnant, and soon no one would want to associate with her, a shameless woman, pregnant out of wedlock with the soul of Magick itself. "It's going to be the most difficult thing I'll ever do."

_ 'But you will do it?' _

"Do I have a choice?" she sighed.

_ 'Yes. I could leave, try again somewhere else.'  _ Hunith's heart twisted at the anxiety in her child's voice.

"You don't have to," she said. She looked around the dark, cold room. "I... I'd be glad of the company."

_ 'Really?'  _

She smiled at the enthusiasm, the wide grin evident in the unearthly voice. "Really." She stood and poked at the fire, hoping to rekindle some of the embers she'd seen earlier. With little to no warning, the sparks snapped and set a blazing fire. Hunith shrieked and jumped back.

_ 'What's wrong? You wanted it lit, right?' _

"You did that?" she gasped, heart hammering.

_ 'Yes.' _

Hunith let out a shaky sigh. This kid would certainly keep her on her toes. "Magic can be dangerous."

_ 'I won't let the fire get out of control.' _

"That's not what I meant," Hunith frowned. "You know why the mages are fleeing Camelot, don't you?"

_ 'I've been a bit distracted, what with having my soul ripped apart and my mind dying.' _

"Right, well..." Hunith's throat closed up. She couldn't do it. She couldn't tell this child what King Uther had done. Not yet. If she was going to be a mother, the least she could do was protect her child from the pain they would have to relearn anyway. "Nevermind. Are you a boy or a girl?" she asked, hoping to distract the child.

_ 'I have to pick one?' _ the voice asked. 

"Well, you don't get to  _ pick, _ " Hunith smiled. "You just...are one."

_ 'I have never been one before. I don't think I am one now.' _

"Oh," Hunith said, confused. 

_ 'I have always just been...Magick. A part of the world, residing in each living creature, in the air, the stones. Not only men and women, but all roles, stations, experiences.' _

"That sounds amazing," Hunith whispered, sitting on the edge of her bed. "You're really going to give all that up?"

_ 'Yes. I have to find my soul. It hurts too much to be apart from them.' _

Hunith glanced back towards the door. "I know what you mean."

_ 'How will I know if I am a boy or a girl?' _

"Well, it'll depend on your body..." Hunith trailed off, unsure of how to explain. "If it becomes more like mine, you're a girl. But if it is more like your father's, you're a boy."

_ 'Oh, you mean my reproductive abilities. That seems a funny thing to have be so important. What if I'm not like either?' _

"What do you mean?"

_ 'I mean, there aren't just male and female bodies. I won't become a fish or anything, of course, but even humans have unpredictable variations.' _

"Hmm." Hunith lay down on the bed, watching the flames dance. "Yes, I imagine you will be quite unpredictable."

The child laughed.  _ 'Such is my nature.'  _

"Well then, I'll try to expect the unexpected," she laughed. It seemed like her child was funny. That, at least, was a relief. "How long will we be able to talk like this?"

_ 'About a month or so. Probably a bit less.' _

"That's not much time." Hunith wrapped herself and the child in woollen blankets. "Are you afraid?"

_ 'Afraid to grow?'  _ the child laughed.  _ 'Not a bit.' _

"No, but to lose all that you've been, all you've seen."

_ 'It is not lost. Magick cannot truly die. It'll just be left behind for a while.' _

"Oh, okay."

_ 'Is it very late, mother?' _

Her heart swelled for this strange babe. Not a boy or a girl, and perhaps it never would be. Magical in every sense, and unaware of the dangers that meant. Ancient and all-knowing, but brand new and with all to learn ahead. 

"Yes, my love, it is," she whispered. 

_ 'Are we going to sleep?' _

"Yes, we will." 

_ 'I've never slept before.' _

She smiled. "It's nice," she said. "I think you'll like it. Perhaps in the morning, you can tell me about your dreams."

_ 'And you can tell me yours.' _

Hunith nodded, grinning from ear to ear, and yawned. It was late indeed, but the room was warm and bright, and she wasn't alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Some thoughts:  
> Hunith: You have to be a boy or a girl.  
> Magick: But I'm not.  
> Hunith: ?????
> 
> It's okay, Hunith, gender is confusing. Shoutout to moms who don't understand their nonbinary children and love them anyway (read: my mom). 
> 
> I literally wrote this in one sitting, I haven't been that in the zone in forever lmao. Hopefully, I can divert this energy to the many papers I still have to write for school. Once winter break comes, though, I do hope to get more out from this AU. I've been noticing it's still getting comments and kudos, and I love seeing people enjoy and relate to it. 
> 
> OH ALSO Let me know what you think about the different POV! It would have been a MUCH different fic if I'd written it from Merlin's perspective, but I felt I shouldn't, since his mind isn't real yet, and Magick isn't exactly the same "person?" It just made more sense from Hunith's POV. I've had a couple of fics that I'd like to do in Arthur's POV, but they'd stick out a fair bit from the rest of the fics. What do y'all think?
> 
> Title is from The Amazing Devil's song "That Unwanted Animal," and was heavily inspired by it.


End file.
